Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Digital Age

It’s pretty simple - start with the pinky on one hand and count each finger including your thumbs and what do you get? 10? Most people get 10. Logically if you start in 2011 and count backwards 10 years then you reach 2001. Most people get 2001. And if it’s May and you count back to January 2001 you get 10 years and five months, which is more than 10, not 10 or less. 
This simple review of math has a point and the point is that no matter what your enterprise read the fine print and double check your sums. Team Red Thread is the proud owner of two cars in the UK because, well, we’ll just blame it on age and over-excitement and a near complete inability to calculate figures that are bigger than the number of fingers on our hands. 
Having proudly announced our acquisition of a Suzuki Wagon R we can now proudly say that car is up for sale at a bargain price. Just contact us. It’s in great shape, has an MOT and tax and is ready for it’s next 60,000 miles. In its place we have acquired another Suzuki. This time a three door 1.0 litre Swift. Driven by a little old man on Sundays it has less than 50,000 miles, electric windows and unlike the wagon actually meets the rules laid down by the Mongolian government. We’re excited. We hope you are, too. 

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Trendy but Dead

“Nice glasses, Mike. They’re kind of trendy,” my friend Greg observed. 
“Thank you. I really like these glasses, they’re pretty cool - if it weren’t for the fact that I’ve had several near death experiences wearing them.” 
“Well, that can be your epitaph. Here lies Mike - Trendy, but Dead.” 

Relentless pursuit of fashion can be fatal. At least that’s the conclusion that I’ve come to regarding spectacles, prescription or otherwise. It’s come to my attention that glasses designed for beach or business wear have expanded faster than a sumo wrestler’s waistline while those for sporting activities are designed with rail thin sidearms for a reason. The move towards wider and wider frames is undoubtably temporary, but from personal experience the blind spots created by these fatties are significant enough to cause fatal accidents - more dangerous perhaps than texting while driving. And it’s not something that you’d necessarily experience at the optician’s. Once in the car however, it soon becomes obvious that all is not as it seems. A quick glance over the shoulder when changing lanes appears to be clear, that is until the car in the next lane starts honking wildly. Knowing that rearview mirrors never tell the complete story, the next step is to learn to work around the frames by tilting one’s head upwards or alternatively wearing sports sunglasses at all hours of the day and night. More recently it’s been up to my co-pilots to shout abuse and scream uncontrollably as cars barrel directly towards my blind sides. Generally it gets my attention in time. Watch this space…