Sunday, June 19, 2011

Trendy but Dead

“Nice glasses, Mike. They’re kind of trendy,” my friend Greg observed. 
“Thank you. I really like these glasses, they’re pretty cool - if it weren’t for the fact that I’ve had several near death experiences wearing them.” 
“Well, that can be your epitaph. Here lies Mike - Trendy, but Dead.” 

Relentless pursuit of fashion can be fatal. At least that’s the conclusion that I’ve come to regarding spectacles, prescription or otherwise. It’s come to my attention that glasses designed for beach or business wear have expanded faster than a sumo wrestler’s waistline while those for sporting activities are designed with rail thin sidearms for a reason. The move towards wider and wider frames is undoubtably temporary, but from personal experience the blind spots created by these fatties are significant enough to cause fatal accidents - more dangerous perhaps than texting while driving. And it’s not something that you’d necessarily experience at the optician’s. Once in the car however, it soon becomes obvious that all is not as it seems. A quick glance over the shoulder when changing lanes appears to be clear, that is until the car in the next lane starts honking wildly. Knowing that rearview mirrors never tell the complete story, the next step is to learn to work around the frames by tilting one’s head upwards or alternatively wearing sports sunglasses at all hours of the day and night. More recently it’s been up to my co-pilots to shout abuse and scream uncontrollably as cars barrel directly towards my blind sides. Generally it gets my attention in time. Watch this space…

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